Section (4-1) of Ch.2. (The Power of a Parent’s Blessing)

TAKE OUT THE TRASH

 Emily was a frustrated mother who could never seem to get her seventeen-year-old daughter to do her chores. Emily's daughter, Cathy, was responsible to collect the trash on Tuesday nights and set it outside for pickup early Wednesday morning. Yet week after week Tuesday night would roll around, and Cathy would be in her room in her pajamas, texting her friends or chatting with them on Facebook, and the trash would not be
on the curb.

 Emily would remind her daughter of her responsibility, and Cathy would promise to take it out in the morning before school, but Emily would insist she take it out right then. "No," Emily would say. "You have said you'd take it out in the morning, but then we missed the trash pickup because you didn't get up early enough. Then we are stuck with bags of stinky trash for another week. Please get up and take the trash out now."

 Cathy would again promise to do her chores before school the next day. "No, Mom," she'd say. "I'll set my alarm and get up to take it out in the morning. I promise."
Emily would get agitated, knowing her daughter rarely took the trash out in the morning, and Cathy would whine about already being in her pajamas. "Don't 'But Mom' me!" Emily would say, her tone rising in intensity. "I want you to get up and do it now."

 Emily would continue to insist, and Cathy would continue to dig in her heels: "Mom, you're a trash Nazi! You treat everybody like you're Hitler running a prison camp. There's no
reason I can't do this in the morning. Why does everything have to be done exactly your way?"

 This exchange would go on for some time, with Emily getting more and more agitated until she was screaming and taking the gadgets away from Cathy so she'd get up and take out the trash. Cathy would rush off in tears, shouting that she hated her mother. Then Emily would give up, telling Cathy the trash had better be ready for pickup in the morning. Of course Cathy would oversleep, and the trash would be left uncollected.

 At that point Emily would completely lose her temper and begin shouting at Cathy, calling her a worthless, lazy, irresponsible pain in the rear. Cathy would then rush out the door, yelling insults back at her mom. This cycle repeated itself week after week.

 Without realizing it, Emily had become Satan's agent rather than God's in her daughter's life. She had created a culture of cursing in her home rather than blessing. Emily was at a total loss as to what else to do because no one had ever taught her God's system of authority.

 Fortunately Emily attended one of our Blessing Generations Experiences, which was held at her church. That weekend Emily was deeply convicted that she had been used as Satan's agent to curse her daughter rather than to bless her. Emily wept bitterly before the Lord as she remembered all the times she had attacked Cathy's identity and conveyed Satan's message of worthlessness to her daughter. She simply didn't know how to deal with Cathy's strong will.

 When Emily returned home Saturday evening, she asked Cathy if she could talk with her. After finishing a text, Cathy joined her mom at the kitchen table.

 "Cathy," Emily began with tears in her eyes, "I just realized this weekend that I have treated you like a Nazi prison camp commander instead of like a mother. In an attempt to get you to do what I wanted, I have threatened you, forced you, coerced and yelled at you, and treated you with great disrespect and dishonor. I never saw this as wrong or as sin against you until this weekend. I didn't know any other way to try to correct you. Could you please find it in your heart to forgive me? I really want to change and be to you the mother God wants me to be."

 

 Cathy began to tear up, never expecting to hear her mother say such things. After getting over her shock, Cathy replied, "Yes, Mom. I do forgive you. I never thought I would hear these words from you. All my life you have treated me like nothing I ever do or say is right in your sight. This is the first time I've heard you acknowledge that anything you did was wrong."

 During the Blessing Generations Experience Emily realized that she had learned from her mother to never acknowledge a mistake or admit to any wrongdoing. "Cathy," Emily said, "I now know that what you're saying is true. My mother was exactly like that with me. I thought that since I was your mother, it was my job to force you to obey me. I never realized until yesterday that this is how Satan treats people, not how God treats His children. I have been so wrong in how I've treated you. Please forgive me."

 
 "I do forgive you, Mom," Cathy said. "And I know that I have also said hurtful and disrespectful things back to you. Would you please forgive me too?"

 Emily, weeping openly now, got up from her chair and embraced her daughter. "Of course I will," she said. "I'm so sorry for the way I've treated you. I love you! You are a wonderful young woman of God with incredible potential. You're smart, you're beautiful, and God has gifted you to be a leader. I notice that others follow you into whatever you get into. I'm so proud of you as my daughter, and I love you very much."