Section (2-2) of Ch.2. (The Power of a Parent’s Blessing)

 When identity and behavior are fused in a parent's mind, that parent will think blessing the identity of a child when he misbehaves is the same as condoning the child's behavior. Consequently, in an attempt to discipline his son's or daughter's behavior, the parent will curse the child's identity. Is it right to bless a rebellious, misbehaving child? Certainly! Blessing should be predicated upon who the child is, not what he does.

 Many times the primary root of teenage rebellion is lack of parental blessing. God meantfor us to bless the person and discipline the behavior.
I'm grateful that God is able to separate our behavior from our identity and doesn't base His love for us on what we do. The Bible tells us, "God demonstrates His own love toward us, in that while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us" (Rom. 5:8).

 I cannot think of a greater blessing and confirmation of love than to die for another person. The fact that Jesus died for you and conveyed His acceptance of you while you were still rebelling against Him does not mean He also approved of your sinful behavior. He separated who you are (identity) from what you do (behavior). In this way God can bless who you are but not necessarily condone what you do.

 When parents fail to separate identity from behavior, they fall into the trap of either condoning wrong behavior in an attempt to bless the child or cursing the child's identity in an attempt to administer discipline. 

 

 When this happens, a parent will tend to lead his family according to the devil's system of governance rather than God's. Satan uses a governance system based on control. God, on the other hand, governs through the exercise of authority. Let me define these terms as I will use them here.

 1. Control entails using the manipulative power of the soul to force (threaten or intimidate) others to do your will.
 2. The exercise of authority entails honoring the personhood and will of others by offering them choices that bring 

     consequences.

 While control does not honor or often even acknowledge the free will of others, the exercise of authority consistently honors people's choices while also consistently applying consequences for wrong choices. God has always honored people's choices. He has never forced anyone to receive Jesus Christ. He offers choices with consequences. For example, He may offer you the choice to: (a) receive Jesus Christ and live in His presence for all eternity, or (b) reject Jesus Christ and live separated from Him in hell for all eternity. He implores you to select choice A, as it will be much better for you, but the decision is yours.

 In Deuteronomy 30:19 God said, "I call heaven and earth to witness against you today, that I have set before you life and death, the blessing and the curse. So choose life in order that you may live, you and your descendants" (emphasis added). Again we see God offering choices with consequences. I believe His intention is for us to govern our children the same way He governs us. Unfortunately, in their experiences growing up, most parents have known only the system of control. Their parents controlled them, and they use the same methods with their children. They likely don't realize that Satan's system of control breeds an environment of cursing. God's system of authority, on the other hand, nurtures an environment of blessing.