section (4) of Ch.9. (The Power of a Parent’s Blessing)

God’s Protective Measures 
in Ancient Hebrew Culture

As at all the previous critical times of blessing, God estab­lished practices within ancient Hebrew culture that ensured almost every child received his parents‘ blessing when he married Four traditions and social norms stand out in particular:

 1. Marriages were primarily arranged by both setsof parents and thus were always blessed.
 2. Everyone in the society considered marriage a lifelong covenant, and sex outside of marriagewas a capital offense.
 3. The father was “the door” to his daughter's life and heart; therefore she did not have to protect herself from lustful     

     young men.
 4. Fathers taught their sons to protect, honor, and respect women, and society reinforced such attitudes.

 As distasteful as an arranged marriage would be to our Western minds today, I believe that God implemented this strategy in biblical Hebrew culture because it was so important to Him that every marriage be blessed by parents. Remember, one meaning of “to bless” is “to empower to prosper.” I believe God wanted to ensure that every marriage would be empowered to prosper.

 In ancient Hebrew culture divorce was a rarity, and virtually no one cohabited. An honorable man would never approach a young woman he was interested in directly; he would approach her father because Dad was the door he must pass through to even speak with the daughter. Even in our Western culture fathers served this role until the turn of the twentieth century. In the 1800s it was still common fora potential suitor to first approach a young woman’s father before he attempted to court her. This protected her from inappropriate suitors and lustful men.

 Because of these four protective practices, virtually all marriages and marriage partners in ancient Hebrew culture were blessed by both sets of parents. Unfortunately, because these practices have largely been abandoned today, there is a significant chance that a marriage will not beblessed or may even be cursed by parents and thus disempowered from prospering

                                                                        ***BLESSING TOOLBOX***

 In the following section we will look at some specific actions you can take and prayers you can pray over your children to help establish a culture of blessing at the time of marriage.

ACTION STEPS

    1. As parents, embrace the strategy of godly partnership rather than dating for the management of romantic
        relationships and marriage partner selection.

    2. Teach your children this strategy of godly partnership at the time of puberty and walk with them in      
        relationship throughout their teenage years.

REMEDIAL PRAYERS TO BREAK THE CURSE
 If you did not approve of your adult child’s marriage and spoke words to curse the marriage

   1. Repent of being the devil’s agent to speak his message into your chlld’s life.

You can pray something similar to this:

 Father, I recognize today that I was the devil's agent to send my child Satan’s identity message at the time of his marriage. Lord, I spoke words of death rather than words of life over [your child’s name]’s marriage. 
Today I renounce the sin of cursing my child's identity and marriage. I repent of doing so and turn completely away from it. I can't pay for my lack of blessing, but I recognize that Jesus Christ died to pay for my sin. Today I receive the blood of Jesus to pay for cursing my son/daughter’s identity and marriage, and because Jesus Christ paid for this sin, today I receive Your forgiveness. Father, because You have forgiven me, today I forgive myself for cursing [your child’s name]'s marriage.

   2. Meet with your child and acknowledge that you did not bless his marriage and ask for his forgiveness.

 I suggest that if botk parents are available, you do this together. If not, do so by yourself. It is important for you to choose your own words, but you may want to say something like: “We now realize that God called us as parents to bless your marriage. We did not do so. Instead we spoke words of death over your marriage. God has shown us that in so doing we sinned against you. Can you find it in your heart to forgive us? [Wait for an answer.] If you would allow us, we would now like to bless your marriage.”

   3. Now bless your child, his spouse, and their marriage.

I suggest that you pray over your child and his spouse together. You may pray something similar to this:

 Father, this day we accept the marriage of [your child’s name] and [your child's spouse's name]. We bless this marriage and declare that you shall prosper in your marriage and in every area of your life together. You shall fulfill your God-given destiny as a couple and shall find great fulfillment in accomplishing your purpose together. We declare that [your child’s name] is a wonderful husband/wife and will be used by God to bless his/her wife/husband. We declare that you shall prosper in your relationship with each other We declare that you both shall be quick to forgive and bless each other. 

 You shall prosper in your physical health. The fruit of your womb shall prosper. Your children shall love God with all their hearts. We bless your work and your finances and declare that you shall prosper financially. You shall find great favor with your employer and your friends. This day we release you to leave your father and mother spiritually and emotionally and to be joined to your wife/husband to become one flesh in Christ. We love you, and this day webless you. We bless [your child’s spouse’s name], we bless your marriage, and we release you to fulfill all that God has called you to accomplish as a couple, in the mighty name of Jesus Christ. Amen.

If you realize you have not released your son or daughter emotionally

  1. Repent before God of not releasing your son or daughter 
You may want to pray something like this:

 Father, I recognize today that I have not emotionally released my child to be joined to his/her spouse. I recognize that this has hindered him/her from properly becoming one with his/her spouse.Today I repent of keeping [your child's name] in emotional and spiritual bondage to me.I ask You to forgive me for not releasing him/her sooner. I receive Your forgiveness. Right now, in the name of Jesus Christ,
I release [your child’s name] to leave me spiritually and emotionally and to be joined to his/her spouse.
I bless [your child's name]’s marriage and declare that these two shall become one flesh and shall prosper in Jesus’s name, amen.

   2. Meet with your child and ask him to forgive you.

  Again, I suggest that if both parents are available, you do this together. If not, do so by yourself. It is important for you to choose your own words,but you may want to saysomething
like this:  “We now realize that we have not spiritually and emotionally released you to be joined to your wife/husband. Will you please forgive us?[Wait for an answer] We would now like to release you and bless you to be joined to your wife/husband.”

   3. Bless your child and his spouse now and their marriage together.

You may wish to speak ablessing over your married chil­ dren like the one outlined above.

PREVENTATIVE PRAYERS TO RELEASE THE BLESSING
Bless your child on his wedding day to release him to be joined to his spouse and to bless his marriage. You may want to pray something like this over your child:

 [Your child’s name],today on your wedding day we are so proud of you.God has prepared you for this day and for your life as a married man/woman. You have everything you need to be a wonderful husband/wife. Today, as your parents, we release you spiritually and emotionally and bless you to bejoined to [your child;s spouse's name], to begin anew family and to become one flesh in Christ. We promise to stand with you and to fight for your covenant of marriage all the days of your life. We pray God’s richest blessing over your life together.

 For a daughter, you may wish to address the groom and release your daughter to him as his wife. The father may also want to say, “I have protected and covered [your daughter’s name] in spiritual authority all of her life until this day.

Today I turn that responsibility over to you. We charge you to love [your daughter’s name], cherish her, to protect her, and provide for her, even as Christ does for His bride, the church. We promise to pray for you and your marriage regularly. We are delighted to receive you in to our family and to call you our son-in-law?”

  A father may also want to affirm his son,telling him,“Son, on this your wedding day we are proud to call you our son.
You are prepared in every way to be a great husband, to lead your family spiritually,emotionally, andfinancially.

We have every confidence that you will succeed and prosper as a husband, a father, and a man.”

 

You may then wish to declare the following blessing over your child and his or her future spouse:

 We bless your marriage and declare that you shall prosper in every area of your life together. You shall fulfill your God-given destiny as a couple and find great fulfillment in accomplishing your purpose together. We declare that you will be used by God to bless your wife/husband. We declare that you shall prosper in your relationship with each other. We declare that you both shall be quick to forgive and bless each other.
 You shall prosper in your physical health.The  fruit of your womb shall prosper.Your children shall love God with all their hearts. We bless your work and your finances and declare that you shall prosper financially. You shall find great favor with your employer and your friends. We love you, and this day we bless you. We bless [your child’s spouse's name], we bless your marriage, and we release you to fulfill all that God has called you to accomplish as a couple, in the mighty name of Jesus Christ. Amen!