Section (3) of Ch. 5. (The Power of a Parent’s Blessing)

Blessing a Child in the Womb

 

 So we see that secular prenatal psychology confirms that a child needs to receive blessing, nurturing, and love during the time spent in the womb. Both father and mother can bless their children in the womb by speaking to them, praying over them, nurturing them, loving them, and basically treating them like real people even though they cannot physically see them yet. It is the parent’s priviledge and responsibility to communicate to their child God’s message that “you are accepted, loved, and welcome. This is a safe place for you to be, to grow, and to receive our love.”

While the mother is the primary person God is using to impart His message to her unborn child, the father is also a very important factor in the blessing of the child. Dr. Verny explains.

Everything that affects her (the mother) affects him (the child). And nothing affects her as deeply or hits with such lacerating impact as worries about her husband (or partner). Because of that, few things are more dangerous to a child, emotionally and physically, than a father who abuses or neglects his pregnant wife.

 

 An early vital factor in the child’s emotional well-being is his father’s commitment to the marriage.... For obvious psychological reasons, a man is at something of a disadvantage here. The child is not an organic part of him. But not all the physical impediments of pregnancy are insurmountable. Something as ordinary as talking is a good example: A child hears his father’s voice in utero, and there is solid evidence that hearing that voice makes a big emotional difference. In cases where a man talked to his child in utero using short soothing words, the newborn was able to pick out his father’s voice in a room even in the first hour or two of life. More than pick it out, he responds to it emotionally. If he is crying, for instance, he’ll stop. That familiar soothing sound tells him he is safe. 8

footnote

8 Ibid.,30-31

 

 Several years ago a friend of mine told me a story about his unborn grandson that confirmed the value of blessing a child in the womb. Having understood the critical value of blessing his grandson in the womb, my friend John taught his daughter and son-in-law to speak blessing over their baby from the day they discovered the pregnancy. John also prayed and spoke words of blessing, love, and nurture to the baby every time he was around his daughter.

He would frequently kneel down and speak directly to his grandson in the womb. “Hello, little one,” he’d say. “This is your grandfather. I love you! You are so precious to me. You are a gift from God to us, and I can’t wait until you are born and I can see you, hold you, kiss your little face, and look into your eyes and tell you how much I love you. You are a mighty man of God who will shake nations in your lifetime.”

 

 John was at the hospital the day his grandson was born.
After the baby was cleaned up, the nurse handed him to his father and mother to love and hold. When the baby was handed back to the nurse, he began crying. John asked if he might hold his new grandson. The nurse handed the baby to John. He cuddled him, looked into his eyes, and began to say, “Hello, little one. This is your grandfather. I love you! You are so precious to me. You are a gift from God to us.”

John said the moment he began to speak, the baby stopped crying and looked up into his eyes. John said it was obvious that the baby recognized the voice that had been speaking to him for the last eight months. John’s grandson responded to the familiar voice and seemed to feel safe, secure, and at peace in the loving arms of the grandfather he had never seen but whose blessing he had been receiving all his life in the womb.

 

 Since John shared his story with me many years ago, I have heard similar stories many times from young fathers and mothers who also understood their priviledge and responsibility to bless their unborn child. Such blessing has the potential to create a strong sense of inner security and peace in the heart of the child that will last all his life.

Scripture also records the recognition and blessing of children in the womb in the interaction between Mary and her older relative Elizabeth. Mary the mother of Jesus went to visit Elizabeth. “When Elizabeth heard Mary’s greeting, the baby leaped in her womb; and Elizabeth was filled with the Holy Spirit. And she cried out with a loud voice and said, ‘Blessed are you among women, and blessed is the fruit of your womb! And how it has happened to me, that the mother of my Lord would come to me? For behold, when the sound of your greeting reached my ears, the baby leaped in my womb for joy” (Luke 1:41-44).

 

Cursing a Child in the Womb

 

 Just as a child can be blessed in the womb, so also can the identity of a child be cursed in the womb. Many years ago as I was seeking the Lord, He led me to a key scripture about the long-lasting effects cursing a child’s identity in the womb can have in people’s lives. The psalmist David wrote, “the wicked are estranged from the womb; these who speak lies go astray from birth” (Ps. 58:3).

At first I thought this scripture could not apply to me or to any believer because we are not the “wicked” but the redeemed. But after conducting a short word study, I found that the Hebrew term translated “wicked” in this verse is rasha. This word, of course, means evil or impious, but some of the expanded meanings really caught my attention, including: “to be in a restless, unquiet state; tossed with various evil passions, distracted by many forms of wickedness, and having no peace of conscience, violent commotion within.” 9

Footnote

9 William Wilson, Wilson’s Old Testament Word Studies (Mclean, VA:Macdonald Publishing, n.d.),s.v. “rasha.”

 

 As I read this, I realized this word might apply to many people I have met, people who in their adult lives find themselves in a restless, disquieted state of soul, distracted and tossed to and fro by many passions.

The Hebrew word translated “estranged” is zuwr. This word can also mean “to be alienated, turned aside, to be treated as an enemy, or made to feel illegitimate, or of another family.” 10

footnote

10 Blue Letter Bible, “Lexicon Results: Strong’s H2114 – zuwr,”

http://www.blueletterbible.org/lang/lexicon.cfm?Strongs=H8582&t=KJV

 

The phrase that really caught my attention was “of another family.” This feeling could be imparted to a child in the womb if he is made to feel like an enemy or as though he does not belong in the family. The unborn child could be made to feel, “Someone has played a cruel joke on me by placing me in this hostile environment in which I am not welcome, not wanted, and not protected.”

 

This may be similar to how a person would feel if he discovered he is not welcome at a party to which he thought he was invited. If you were to show up at an invitation – only formal party thinking your name was on the guest list only to discover at the door that your name is not on the list, you may feel quite rejected. In a situation like that you may simply turn around and leave, all the while saying to yourself, “Well, I know where I’m not wanted.”

 

However, a child who shows up in his mother’s womb and has a similar experience cannot simply turn aroud and leave. He has nowhere else to go. The child is forced to remain in this hostile environment, incurring the rejection and disdain of the host every day. This could easily create the feeling of alienation, rejection, and wrongness of being (shame). The child has done nothing wrong. His existence is considered wrong. Thus his very identity is cursed from the womb.

The third significant phrase in Ps. 58:3 is “to go astray.” This is the Hebrew word ta’ah. Some of the meaning of this word are “to wander, to vacillate, to reel or stray, to stagger as a drunken man.” Thus the result of being estranged in the womb is that in adulthood, one goes astray. If we apply these three expanded definitions to the Scripture passage, the verse would read something like this:

 

 The man (or woman) who is in a restless, unquiet state, tossed with various evil passions, distracted by many forms of wickedness, and having no peace of conscience, and violent commotion within was alienated, turned aside, treated as an enemy, and made to feel illegitimate or of another family in the womb. These who speak lies then from the time of birth are made to wander, to vacillate, to reel or stray, to be made to stagger through life as a drunken man.

 

 Through the years in ministry I have met many people who seem to have what I call a “Gypsy spirit.” No matter where they are or what they are doing, they are never happy. The grass is always greener somewhere else. They never feel at home. Thus, such a person wanders in his Christian life from church to church. Sometimes he wanders from job to job, city to city, or even relationship to relationship. When you look at the course of his life, it is not straight. It is a zigzag pattern with no stability. This person is literally wandering through life almost as a drunken man.

When people have been rejected and cursed instead of blessed in the womb, this often results in a disquieted soul in childhood and adult life. When the soul has no peace, the flesh is always busy attempting to bring a false comfort to the soul through various forms of wickedness, as described above. Since the soul is never at rest, this person is never at home and is always looking for something or someone else.

 

 In addition, many negative habits, feelings, and attitudes in adult life can result directly from estrangement in the womb. Sometimes these are not serious external sin patterns such as murder, alcoholism, adultery, or physical violence but are simply negative habits or emotional response patterns that are very difficult to change.

When ministering to people in this state, I have sought the Lord to reveal the root of the behavior, and many times He has led us to minister to the effects of rejection and cursing in the womb. Many people have experienced a complete change in their adult behavior and experience of life after having an encounter with the Lord at one of our Blessing Generations Experiences. 12

footnote

12 For more information on attending a Blessing Generations Experience near you, visit www.familyfoundations.com

 

 One man had struggled all his life with procrastination and being late for appointments. We first prayed and asked the Lord to reveal to this man the root cause of these symptoms. As we waited, he slowly bent over in his chair, then fell down on the floor, curled up in a fetal position and began to quietly weep. When I asked him what he was experiencing, the man said that when we asked the Lord to reveal the root cause of his procrastination, he had an overwhelming feeling of being in his mother’s womb and not wanting to be born.

He had heard many angry voices and annoyance from his mother at his existence. In the weeks before his birth, the man’s mother and father argued frequently, and there had been several emotional outbursts between them. He was reliving the experience of being warm, secure, and safe in his mother’s womb and not wanting to emerge into the hostile environment he heard on the outside.

 

 This man later told us that he had been born more than three weeks after his due date. As we invited the Lord Jesus to minister to him, he felt the Lord remove the deep lie that he would not be wanted or received in any new situation. That lie was replaced with the truth that he would be accepted and welcomed. I could tell that something significant had occurred in this man’s life, and he later reported that he no longer struggled with feeling unwanted or not wanting to encounter the unknown. The feelings of fear and torment were simply not there. After that weekend he was rarely late for appointments, and the struggle with procrastination had completely been eliminated. His entire life had been transformed when the Lord replaced the deep emotional lie the man received in the womb with His truth. (See John 8:32.)

Another notable experience demonstrating the power pf impartations in the womb occurred during an Ancient Paths Experience several years ago. A Dutch woman said she had a significant bout with serious depression for several weeks at the same time every year. She had consulted several medical professionals and had been combating this depression in prayer for many years, but the depression still returned. Again, we simply asked the Lord to reveal to her the root of her depression. Within seconds she was experiencing an intense feeling of abandonment, loss, and grief. She asked the Lord to show her the origin of this intense emotion. Just then the Holy Spirit showed her that an intense sorrow had come upon her in the womb.

 

 Having been conceived in Holland during the Second World War, she never knew her father. He had gone off to fight with Dutch army after she was conceived, and unfortunately he was killed in battle and never returned home. In the course of her prayer the woman realized the feeling of intense loss had been imparted to her through her mother when the family received news of her father’s death. Through the time of ministry the Lord removed these intense feelings and the lies that attended them, and He replaced them with the impartation of blessing He had wanted her to receive in the womb. Again, this proved to be a life-changing experience for her.

 

 After the time of ministry this woman realized that the time of year she had battled depression was the exact time when news of her father’s death had reached her family. Intense feelings of abandonment, loss, grief, and sorrow had so powerfully come upon her in the womb. I happened to speak with this woman several years later, and she told me she was completely free of the annual cycle of depression and had never again experienced the same intense emotions since that ministry time.

Years later I discovered Dr. Verny’s book, which gave me an even better understanding of how and why an unintentional and unavoidable impartation of negative emotion from a mother to an unborn child could result in a lifelong struggle with depression for the child. Dr. Verny writes:

 

 Some forms of depression can also originate in utero. Usually, these are produced by a major loss. For whatever reason – illness or a distraction – a mother withdraws her love and support from her unborn child; that loss plunges him into a depression. You can see the after-affects of this in an apathetic newborn or a distracted sixteen-year-old; for, like other emotional patterns set in utero, depression may plague a child for the rest of his life. 13

footnote

13 Verny, The Secret Life the Unborn Child, 65.

 

Other feelings that can be traced back to the cursing of identity in the womb include:

 Rejection  depression  Fear  Lust  Anger

 Guilt  “I’m a mistake.”  “I didn’t ask to be born.”

 “I don’t belong.”

 

The cursing of identity during the time in the womb is not the only cause of these feelings, but it is a major root of many such emotions and negative experiences later in life.