Section (2) of Ch. 5. (The Power of a Parent’s Blessing)

THE AMAZING EXPERIENCE OF AN UNBORN CHILD

 

 Not only does Scripture tell us that children need to be blessed in the womb, but also the science of prenatal medicine and psychology confirms this. The most interesting and informative book I have ever read on this topic was written by a prenatal psychiatrist named Dr. Thomas Verny. Titled The Secret Life of the Unborn Child, this book confirms that parents can either bless or curse the identity of children in the womb and that such impartations may afflict the child’s self-image for the rest of his life. An unborn child is not just an inanimate “fetus.” He is a real person who feels and whose identity and self-perception are strongly shaped by his parents’ words, emotions, and attitudes. Dr. Verny writes:

 

 We now know that the unborn child is an aware, reacting human being who from the sixth month on (and perhaps even earlier) leads an active emotional life. Along with this startling finding we have made these discoveries:

• The fetus can see, hear, experience, taste, and, on an primitive level, even learn in utero (that is, in the uterus – before birth). Most importantly, he can feel – not with an adult’s sophistication, but feel nonetheless.

• A corollary to this discovery is that what a child feels and perceives begins shaping his attitudes and expectations about himself. Whether he ultimately sees himself and, hence, acts as a happy or sad, aggressive or meek, secure or anxiety-ridden person depends, in part, on the messages he gets about himself in the womb.

• The chief source of those messages is the child’s mother. This does not mean every fleeting worry, doubt or anxiety a woman has rebounds on her child. What matters are deep persistent patterns of feeling. Chronic anxiety or a wrenching ambivalence about motherhood can leave a deep scar on an unborn child’s personality. On the otherhand, such life-enhancing emotions as joy, elation, and anticipation can contribute significantly to the emotional development of a healthy child. 2

footnote

2 Thomas Verny with John Kelly, The Secret Life of the Unborn Child (New York: Simon and Schuster, Inc., 1981), 12-13.

 

 Dr. Verny says his book “is based on the discovery that the unborn child is a feeling, remembering, aware being, and because he is, what happens to him – what happens to all of us – in the nine month between conception and birth molds and shapes personality, drives, and ambitions in very important ways.” 33 Ibid., 15

 

 Not only are children in the womb impacted emotionally, but Dr. Verny also cites several stories of children learning words, phrases, foreign words, and even musical scores while still in the womb. He tells one notable story of a gifted philharmonic conductor, Boris Brott, who had been asked in a radio interview when he had first become interested in music.

 

 He [Brott] hesitated for a moment and said, “You know, this may sound strange, but music has been a part of me since before birth.” Perplexed, the interviewer asked him to explain.

“Well,” said Brott, “as a young man, I was mystified by this unusual ability I had – to play certain pieces sight unseen. I’d be conducting a score for the first time and, suddenly, the cello line would jump out at me; I’d know the flow of the piece even before I turned the page of the score. One day, I mentioned this to my mother, who is a professional cellist. I thought she’d be intrigued because it was always the cello line that was so distinct in my mind. She was; but when she heard what the pieces were, the mystery quickly solved itself. All the scores I knew sight unseen were the ones she had played while she was pregnant with me. 4

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4 Ibid., 22-23.

 

 As believer, we know that God breathes the human spirit into a child at the time of conception. Dr. Verny quotes research that again confirms that parents can bless or curse a child’s identity from the time of conception on. Referring to the unborn child, Dr. Verny states:

 

 He can sense and react not only to large, undifferentiated emotions such as love and hate, but also to more shaded complex feeling states like ambivalence and ambiguity.

Precisely at what moment his brain cells acquire this ability is still unknown. One group pf investigators believes something like consciousness exists from the very first moments of conception. As evidence, they point to the thousands of perfectly healthy women who repeatedly abort spontaneously. There is speculation that in the first weeks - perhaps even hours – after conception, the fertilized ovum possess enough self-awareness to sense rejection and enough will to act on it. 5

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5 Ibid., 18-19

 

 So we see that the identity of children can be blessed or cursed by spiritual, emotional, verbal, and physical impartations from their parents even as tiny babies in the womb. Dr. Verny’s research further demonstrates that children in the womb are more sensitive than adults to the emotions and communication of the mother and father.

 

 An adult, and to a lesser degree a child, has had time to develop defenses and responses. He can soften or deflect the impact of experience. An unborn child cannot.
What affects him does so directly. That‘s why maternal emotions etch themselves so deeply on his psyche and why their tug remains so powerful later in life. Major personality characteristics seldom change. If optimism is engraved on the mind of an unborn child, it will take a great deal of adversity later to erase it 6

footnote

6 Ibid., 25.

 

 Dr. Verny goes on to explain that when pregnant women do not communicate with their unborn children, it feels to that child much like being alone in a room for six, seven, or eight months without any emotional or intellectual connection.

 

 He [the unborn child] has to feel loved and wanted just as urgently – perhaps even more urgently – than we do. He has to be talked to and thought of; otherwise his spirit and often his body, too, begin wilting.... By and large, the personality of the unborn child a woman bears is a function of the quality of mother-child communication, and also of its specificity. If the communication was abundant, rich and, most important, nuturing, the chances are very good that the baby will be robust, healthy and happy.

This communication is an important part of bonding. 7

footnote

7 Ibid., 26-27.