제6장 (은혜가 더 크다)

          제6장 당신의 복수보다 더 이기는 은혜
          More Prevailing Than Your Vengeance

If you’re in ministry, some people won’t like you. At all.

만일 당신이 사역 중이라면 어떤 사람들은 당신을 좋아하지 않을 것이다. 전혀.

 Who would’ve guessed you could get in trouble by talking incessantly about someone people were so desperate to get rid of that they nailed him to a cross?

사람들이 너무 그 사람을 필사적으로 제거하려고 해서 십자가에 못박은 그 사람에 대해 당신이 끊임없이 말함으로써 곤경에 빠질 수 있음을 누가 추측이나 했겠는가?

 It’s something they don’t tell you in seminary or include on church job descriptions, but it’s true. I get plenty of encouragement, and I’m thankful for that, but I’ve also received my fair share of hate mail. It was from someone out of state who listened to my sermons online. What he wrote crossed the line from harsh critique to just hateful. Honestly, it was so extreme I found it kind of entertaining. I thought my father, who had spent most of his life in ministry as well, might also get a laugh out of it and help me keep things in perspective, so I forwarded it to him

그것은 그들이 신학교에서 당신에게 말하지 않거나 혹은 교회 업무의 설명들 속에 포함하지 않는 어떤 것이다. 그러나 그것은 사실이다.  나는 많은 격려를 받는다. 그리고 그것 때문에 감사하다. 그러나 나는 또한 증오의 메일의 상당한 몫을 받았다. 그것은 내 설교를 온라인으로 들은 내가 사는 주 밖에 사는 어떤 사람으로부터 온 것이었다. 그가 쓴 것은 거친 비판으로부터 그저 증오에 찬 비판까지 도를 넘은 것이었다. 솔직히 말하자면 그것은 너무 극단적이어서 나는 그것이 일종의 대접 (향응)인 것을 알았다. 나는 내 아버지를 생각했는데 그분은 그의 삶의 대부분을 또한 사역에 쓰셨는데 그분이 또한 그것으로부터 웃음을 얻을 것이고, 내가 관점 안에서 사물들의 진상을 올바르게 보는 데 도움을 줄 것이다. 그래서 나는 그것을 아버지께 우편물로 부쳤다.
                

About ten minutes later I received an email back from my dad. Actually, he forwarded me an email -  it was the response he had just sent to the person who wrote the hateful email to me. My dad, who is one of the kindest and gentlest men you could ever meet, took it upon himself to send a strongly worded email to this man in defense of me. Though I had not asked him to, my dad had stood up for me.

약 10분 후에 나는 아버지로부터 이메일을 받았다. 실제로 그는 내게 이메일을 전송했다. 그것은 내게 증오에 찬 이메일을 쓴 사람에게 방금 보낸 응답이었다. 당신이 만나본 적이 있는 사람들 중에서 가장 친절하고 온유하신 분들 중의 한 분인 내 아버지는 나를 변호하기 위하여 이 사람에게 강한 어조의 이메일을 보내는 것을 자기 일로 받아들이셨다. 비록 내가 그분에게 그렇게 하라고 요구하지 않았지만 내 아버지는 나를 옹호했던 것이다.

 

As I read my dad’s email to this man I was a little embarrassed. As a grown man I didn’t necessarily want my dad coming to the playground to talk to one of the mean kids. But in hindsight, I should’ve expected that he would be quick to defend me and want to protect me. That’s what loving dad do.

내 아버지가 이 사람에게 보낸 이메일을 내가 읽을 때 나는 조금 당황스러웠다. 성인으로서 나는 이런 비열한 사람들 중의 한 사람에게 말하는 운동장에 내 아버지가 올라오시는 것을 필연적으로 원하지 않았다. 그러나 지나고 보니 나는 그분이 나를 변호하기와 나를 보호하기를 신속히 원하기를 기대했을 것이다.
              
         그러나 만일 그것이 개인적인 것이라면 어땠을까?
         But What If It’s Personal

 Looking back, I realize I wasn’t really offended by the hate-filled email because I didn’t know the person who wrote it. It didn’t make me bitter and it was easy to forgive the guy because I had no connection to him. But what about when it’s personal? What do you do when someone intentionally tries to hurt you, and it’s someone you know, someone you counted on, someone you trusted, someone you loved?

뒤돌아 볼 때 나는 증오로 가득 찬 그 이메일에 정말로 화가 나있지 않았다는 것을 깨닫는다. 왜냐하면 나는 그것을 쓴 그 사람을 몰랐기 때문이다. 그것은 나를 비통하게 만들지 않았고 그 작자를 용서하기는 쉬었다. 왜냐하면 나는 그와 아무 연관이 없었기 때문이다. 그러나 그것이 개인적이라면 어땠을까?  어떤 사람이 의도적으로 당신에게 상처를 주려고 할 때 당신은 무엇을 하는가? 그리고 그것이 당신이 아는 사람, 당신이 기대한 사람, 당신이 사랑한 사람이라면?

Let’s be more specific. How do you forgive: 

좀 더 특별하게 다뤄 보자. 당신은 어떻게 용서하는가?

   Your ex who has tried to make your life miserable?
   The nasty neighbor who has made living in your home a nightmare?
   A mom who constantly yelled at you and put you down?
   Your father who seems completely oblivious to your existence?
   The friend who betrayed you?
   Your coworker who is cruel and manipulate?
   Your spouse who cheated on you?
   The relative who abused you?

당신의 삶을 비참하게 만들려고 애쓴 당신의 전 남편(혹은 전 애인) 에 대해 ?
당신의 가정에서의 삶을 악몽으로 만든 감당하기 어려운 이웃에 대해?
당신에게 끈임없이 소리질러대고 다른 사람들 앞에서 당신을 깔아뭉개는 엄마에 대해?
당신의 존재를 완전히 잊는 듯 보이는 당신의 아버지에 대해?
당신을 배신한 친구에 대해?
잔인하고 능숙하게 당신을 조종하는 당신의 동업자에 대해?

 Of course you’re hurt. Of course you’re angry. But in the Bible Paul tells us, “‘In your anger do not sin’: Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry” (Eph. 4:26). It’s natural to get angry; sometimes it’s even appropriate. But when anger turns into bitterness it becomes toxic. We need to get rid of it. After enough setting suns, those feelings can become a part of you. What was done to you begins to shape your identity. What was said to you begins to define you. We can find ourselves held prisoner not by something we did in the past but by what someone did to us.

물론 당신은 상처받고 있다. 물론 당신은 화가 난다. 그러나 성경에서 바울 사도는 말한다, “‘당신의 분노 중에 죄짓지 말라’; 당신이 아직 화가 나 있는 동안에 해가 지게 말라” (엡 4:26). 화가 나는 것이 자연스럽다. 종종 그것은 적합하기도 하다. 그러나 화가 비통으로 바뀔 때 그것은 유독하게 된다. 우리는 그것을 제거할 필요가 있다. 충분히 해들을 기울게 한 후에 그 감정들은 당신의 일부가 될 수 있다. 당신에게 되어진 것이 당신의 정체성을 형성하기 시작한다.  당신에게 말해진 것이 당신을 규정하기 시작한다. 우리는 죄수가 된 자신을 발견할 수 있는데 과거에 우리가 한 어떤 것에 의해서가 아니라 어떤 사람이 우리에게 한 것에 의해서 그렇게 된 것을.

 So it’s not too difficult, at least on an intellectual level, for us to agree with Paul’s direction to get rid of anger and bitterness. Of course that’s the right decision. If a doctor diagnosed you with cancer, you would tell the doctor, “Get rid of it!” If you refuse to give grace, be warned that the tumor of bitterness will mutate and multiply. It’s only a matter of time until the anger metastasizes into every area of your life.

그러므로 우리가 바울의 지시 즉, 분노와 비통ㅎ삼을 제거하라는 그 지시에 동의하는 것은 너무 어렵지 않다.  적어도 지적인 수준에서. 물론 그것은 올바른 결정이다. 만일 의사가 당신이 암을 가졌다고 진단했다면 당신으 그 의사에게 말할 것이다. “그것을 제거해주시오.” 만일 당신이 은혜를 주기를 거부한다면 비통함의 종양이 돌연변이를 하고 증가할 것임을 경고받으라. 분노가 당신 삶의 모든 분야 속으로 전이되기까지 그것은 단지 시간의 문제일 뿐이다.

In the previous chapter we talked about how we need to get rid of our anger and bitterness. That’s part of the forgiveness process, but forgivenness needs to go further. It’s more than just dealing with you feelings, it’s forgiving someone specific. It’s one thing to release some emotions that are hurting you, it’s another thing to release the person who hurt you. Is there a name and a face that come to your mind?

앞 장에서 우리는 우리가 우리의 분노와 비통함을 제거할 필요가 얼마나 큰지에 대해서 말했다. 그것은 용서 과정의 한 부분이지만 용서는 더 나아갈 필요가 있다. 그것은 당신의 감정들을 그저 취급하는 것 그 이상이다. 그것은 특볅한 어떤 사람을 용서하는 것이다. 당신을 상처주고 있는 어떤 감정들을 놓아주는 것은 한 쪽 일이고 당신을 상처주는 그 사람을 놓아주는 것은 별개의 문제이다. 당신의 생각에 떠오르는 한 이름이나 한 얼굴이 있는가?

Remember what we’ve said: grace flows. That’s the nature of it. If it doesn’t flow, it isn’t grace. We can’t keep God’s grace for ourselves and refuse to give it to someone else. But, practically speaking, how do we do that?  Where do we go from there? How do we actually forgive someone?

우리가 말한 것을 기억하라. 은혜는 흘러간다. 그것이 은혜의 본성이다. 그것이 흐르지 않는다면 그것은 은혜가 아니다. 우리는 우리 자신만을 위하여 하나님의 은혜를 지킬 수 없고 그것을 다른 누구에게 주기를 거부할 수 없다. 그러나 실제적으로 말하자면 우리는 어떻게 그것을 하는가? 우리는 거기서부터 어디로 가는가?  우리는 실제적으로 어떤 사람을 어떻게 용서하는가?

 I know these answers will run the risk of sounding naive. You may be tempted to dismiss them as too simplistic. But don’t confuse simple with easy. There is nothing easy about the next steps on this journey of grace.

나는 안다. 이 대답들이 너무 순진하게 들릴 모험을 할 것을. 당신은 그 대답들을 너무 단순하다고 버릴 유혹을 받을지 모른다. 그러나 단순함과 용이함을 혼동하지 말라. 은혜의 여정에서 다음 단계들에 대해서는 쉬운 것이 없다.

                            그것을 인정하라
                            Acknowledge It

 For all his talk about getting rid of anger and extending forgiveness and grace, you may wonder if Paul ever had to live this out in real life. It’s easy to pass on pious-sounding platitudes about forgiveness . . . if you’ve never had to really forgive anyone. Maybe that’s the deal with Paul. Maybe he doesn’t really know what he’s talking about because he’s never had to do it. It’s hard to take someone like that seriously.

분노를 제거함과 용서와 은혜를 넓히는 것에 대한 바울의 모든 말에 대해서 당신은 바울이 실제 삶 속에서 이것을 실현해야만 했었는지에 대해 의아할지 모른다. 용서에 대해서 경건하게 들리는 상투어들을 그냥 지나치기가 쉽다. 만일 당신이 참으로 누군가를 용서할 필요가 없었다면. 아마도 그것은 바울을 다룬 것일 것이다. 아마 그는 자기가 하고 있는 말에 대해 진정으로 알지 못할지 모른다. 왜냐하면 그는 결코 그것을 해야만 할 필요가 없었으니까. 어떤 사람을 그렇게 심각하게 다루는 것은 어렵다.

 No, Paul had people who intentionally hurt him. He was on the receiving end of more than just an occasional harshly worded email. There are a number of examples of people causing him pain, but there are two I especially want to point out.

아니다. 바울은 의도적으로 자기를 상처주는 사람들을 가졌다. 그는 그저 우연히 거칠은 말로 된 이메일 이상의 대상이 되었다. (on the receiving end of more than just an occasional harshly worded email). 그가 고통을 야기하는 수많은 실례적(實例的)인 사람들이 있으나 내가 특별히 지적하기를 원하는 두 가지 예들이 있다.

Some of the books Paul wrote in the Bible were to churches. For example, in the last few chapters we have been looking at a letter Paul wrote to the church in the city of Ephesus (modernday Turkey) that is called Ephesians. There are other books in the New Testament that Paul wrote to specific church leaders. Sometimes it’s helpful to match up a letter Paul wrote to a church with a letter he wrote to the leader of that church. In this case, 1 and 2 Timothy are the letters Paul wrote to Timothy who was the leader of the church in Ephesus.

성경에서 바울이 쓴 책들 중의 어떤 책들은 교회들로 갔다. 예를 들면, 지난 두 어개의 장들에서 바울 사도는 에베소 도시에 (현재의 터키) 있는 교회에 쓴 편지를 우리는 바라보면서 지내고 있다. 그 편지는 에베소서라고 불리운다. 신약성경 안에 바울이 특별한 교회 지도자들에게 쓴 다른 책들이 있다.  종종 그것은 바울이 교회에게 쓴 편지를  그 교회 지도자에게 쓴 편지와 짜맞추는데 도움이 된다. 이 경우에 디모데 전서와 후서는 예베소에 있는 교회의 지도자였던 디모데에게 바울이 쓴 편지들이다.  

In 2 Timothy Paul writes about a guy named Alexander who had caused him some pain. He doesn’t go into detail but simply says, “Alexander the coppersmith did me much harm” (2 Tim. 4:14 NLT). Another translation put it, “He did great evil against me.” Paul doesn’t get caught up in recounting and complaining about everything that was done to him, but one thing we learn from him here is that you have to acknowledge you’re hurt.

디모데 후서에서 바울은 그에게 고통을 야기시킨 바 있는 알렉산더라는 작자에 대해 기록하고 있다. 그는 상세히 기록하지는 않으나 단순하게 말한다. “구리장색 업자 알렉산더는 내게 많은 해를 끼쳤다” (딤후 4:14). 다른 번역은 이같이 번역한다. “그는 내게 대해 큰 악을 저질렀다.” 바울은 자기에게 행해진 모든 것에 대해서 상술하고 불평하는데 사로잡혀 있지 않으나 한 가지 우리가 여기서 그로부터 배우는 것은 당신이 상처받고 있다고 인정해야만 한다는 것이다.

Sometimes we pretend nothing happened, seeking to sweep the hurt under the rug. That doesn’t work. You cannot forgive what you refuse to acknowledge.

종종 우리는 아무 것도 일어나지 않은 듯 가장하고 그것을 카펫 아래 그 상처를 털어내기를 구하고 있다. 그것은 유효하게 작용하지 않는다. 당신은 당신이 인정하기를 거부하는 것을 용서할 수 없다.

                         내 권리들을 놓아주라
                          Release My Rights

Once I acknowledge what has been done to me, my first instinct is to do something in return. I need to even the score. I have a right to retaliate. I have a right to retribution. I have a right to take revenge. I acknowledge the deficit and now I’m ready to collect. That seems like the next step in getting over the hurt someone has caused.

일단 내가 내게 되어진 것을 인정하고나면 나의 첫 번째 본능은 반작용으로 무언가를 하는 것이다. 나는 점수를 고르게 할 필요가 있다. 나는 보복할 권리를 갖는다. 나는 보응할 권리를 갖는다. 나는 복수할 권리를 갖는다. 나는 그 부족액을 인정한다. 그리고 지금 나는 모을 준비가 되어있다. 그것이 누군가가 야기한 그 상처를 회복함에 있어서 다음 단계같이 보인다.

After acknowledging the great harm that Alexander did to him, Paul continues, “but the Lord will judge him for what he has done” (v.14 NLT).

알렉산더가 그에게 끼친 그 큰 상처를 인정한 후에 바울은 계속 말한다. “그러나 주님이 그가 한 일을 인하여 그를 판단하실 것이다” (v.14).

 Paul doesn’t minimize the hurt that was done to him. He simply releases his right to take revenge. He’s signing a waiver on his right to retaliate.  This is different than releasing his feelings of anger and rage; he’s releasing the offender over to God.

바울은 그에게 행해진 상처를 축소하지 않는다. 그는 단순히 복수할 그의 권리를 놓아준다. 그는 보복할 그의 권리에 대해 면제증서에 싸인을 하고 있다. 이것은 분노와 격노의 감정들을 놓아주는 것과 다르다. 그는 자기에게 죄를 지은 사람을 하나님께 넘겨드리고 있다.

 There’s something within us that thinks, I’ll forgive when I get even. When I make them feel the way they made me feel, I can forgive. But that’s not forgiveness, that’s revenge. The Bible says in Rom. 12:19, “Do not take revenge . . . but leave room for God’s wrath, for it is written: ‘It is mine to avenge; I will repay,’ says the Lord.” Justice is God’s job. When we insist on holding on to our right to get even, we put ourselves in God’s place. It’s way of saying, “God, I don’t think you can handle this. I don’t trust you to take care of me. So I am going to deal with this situation myself.”

우리 안에는 생각하는 무언가가 있다. 내가 안정될 때 용서하겠어. 나로 하여금 느끼게 만든 그 방식으로 그들이 느끼게 내가 만들 때 나는 용서할 수 있어. 그러나 그것은 용서가 아니다. 그것은 복수이다. 성경은 롬 12:19에서 말한다. “복수하지 말고 . . . 하나님의 진노를 위한 공간을 남겨두라. 왜냐하면 기록되기를, ‘복수하는 것은 내 것이다. 내가 되갚아 주겠다’ 라고 주님이 말씀하신다.” 정의는 하나님의 일이다. 우리가 균형을 맞추기 위해 우리 권리에 손을 떼지 않기를 고집할 때 우리는 자신을 하나님의 자리에 둔다. 그것은 이런 식의 말인 셈이다. “하나님, 저는 당신이 이것을 다룰 수 있다고 생각지 않아요. 저는 당신이 나를 돌보신다고 신뢰하지 않아요. 그래서 저는 이 상황을 제 자신이 다룰 예정이예요.”

 Reading that verse in Rom.12 reminds me of my dad’s response to the guy who sent me the hate-filled email. In a sense I released the critic’s email to my father and left room for his wrath. He read it and said, “It is mine to avenge; I will repay.” I didn’t even want him to do that, but as a loving father he couldn’t help himself.

롬 12장의 그 요절을 읽을 때 그 말씀이 내게 증오에 찬 이메일을 보낸 그 작자에 대한 내 아버지의 반응을 내게 상기시킨다. 어떤 의미에서 나는 그 비판자의 이메일을 내 아버지께 넘겨드렸고 그분의 분노를 위한 공간을 남겼다. 내 아버지는 그것을 읽고 말씀했다. “복수하는 것은 내 일이야. 내가 갚아주겠어.” 나는 아버지가 그것을 하기를 원하지도 않았으나 사랑하는 아버지로서 그분은 스스로를 어떻게 할 수 없으셨다.

 In the last chapter I mentioned how we can keep playing back the episode of what was done to us, like a favorite movie recorded on our DVR. The problem is that with each playback the weight of what was done to us increases. There comes a point when we have to decide, “The weight is too heavy for me to carry. I’m not going to let what that person did to me continue to wear me down. So, God, I release it to you.” We’re not just releasing the pain of what was done but also releasing the person who did it.

지난 장에서 나는 우리의 DVR에 기록된 좋아하는 영화처럼 우리에게 행해진 것이 에피소드를 계속 되돌릴 수 있는 방법을 언급했다. 문제는 각각의 되돌림 영상과 더불어 우리에게 행해진 것의 무게가 증가한다는 것이다. 우리가 결정을 할 시점이 온다. “내가 옮기기에는 그 짐이 너무 무겁다. 나는 그 사람이 내게 한 것이 나를 계속 기진하게 시키지 않을 예정이야. 그러므로 하나님, 저는 그것을 당신께 넘겨드립니다.” 우리는 그저 행해진 것의 고통을 넘겨주고 있는 게 아니라 또한 그것을 한 그 사람을 넘겨주고 있는 것이다.

 I do want you to notice why Paul is writing about this hurtful man to Timothy. Paul writes in the next verse, “Be careful of him, for he fought against everything we said” (2 Tim.4:15 NLT). Paul has released his rights but he’s protective of Timothy. He may forgive Alexander but he doesn’t trust him. Forgiveness doesn’t necessarily equate to trust. Just because you give up your right to take revenge doesn’t mean that the person doesn’t need to be held accountable. If a crime was committed against you, this doesn’t mean you don’t report it. It doesn’t mean the person doesn’t need to answer to the law. It also doesn’t mean you move forward and trust the person as if nothing happened. It may be that you need to put up some wise boundaries moving into the future. Paul acknowledges what was done and releases it to God, but then sets up some appropriate boundaries to prevent future harm. We may need to do the same.

나는 당신이 왜 바울이 디모데에게 이 상처준 사람에 대해 쓰고 있는지를 주목하기를 참으로 바란다. 바울은 그 다음 절에서 이렇게 적고 있다. “그를 조심하라. 그가 우리가 말한 모든 것을 대적하여 싸웠기 때문이다.” (딤후 4:15). 바울은 그의 권리들을 넘겼으나 그는 디모데를 보호한다. 그는 알렉산더를 용서해도 좋으나 그 사람을 신뢰하지 않는다. 용서는 필연적으로 신뢰와 동등하지 않다. 당신이 복수할 당신의 권리를 포기했다는 이유는 그저 그 사람이 책임질 필요가 없다는 것을 의미하지 않는다. 만일 범죄가 당신에게 범해졌다면 이것은 당신이 그것을 보고하지 않는다는 것을 의미하지 않는다. 그것은 그 사람이 법에 대답할 필요가 없다는 의미가 아니다. 그것은 또한 아무 것도 일어나지 않은 것처럼 그 사람에게 나아가 그를 신뢰한다는 뜻이 아니다. 그것은 당신이 미래를 향하여 움직일 때 몇 가지 지혜로운 경계선들을 설치할 필요가 있다는 것일 수 있다. 바울은 자기에게 행해진 것을 인정하고 그것을 하나님께 넘긴다. 그러나 미래의 해코지를 막기 위해서 몇 가지 적합한 경계선들을 설치한다. 우리도 동일한 것을 할 필요가 있을 것이다.
 
                    당신의 원수들을 위해 기도하라     
                       Pray for Your Enemies

Paul then goes on to give another example of when he has been hurt. He writes, “The first time I was brought before the judge, no one came with me. Everyone abandoned me” (v.16 NLT). Again, Paul acknowledges the offense. Paul is likely talking here about a trial when he had to stand in front of the Roman authorities. Nero, the Roman Emperor, was doing everything he could to destroy the church and put an end to Christianity. Paul is referencing a trial where his life was literally on the line. In that moment of need, no one showed up. He had loved and served and poured his life into people, and none of them came to support him.

바울은 그리고나서 그가 상처를 받은 때의 다른 예를 계속 준다. 그는 기록한다. “내가 처음으로 재판관 앞으로 데려가진 때에 아무도 나와 함께 가지 않았다.  모든 사람이 나를 포기했다” (16절). 다시 말한다. 바울은 이 범죄를 인정한다. 바울은 여기서 그가 로마 당국 앞에 서야만 했던 때 그 재판에 대해 말하고 있는 듯하다. 로마 황제 네로가 교회를 파괴하고 기독교를 끝장내기 위하여 그가 할 수 있는 모든 것을 하고 있었다. 바울은 그의 생명이 글자 그대로 경각간에 있는 재판을 언급하고 있다. 그 필요의 순간에 아무도 나타나지 않았다.그는 사랑했고 봉사했고 그의 생명을 사람들에게 쏟아부었는데 그들 중 한 사람도 그를 지원하기 위해 오지 않았다.

 Maybe you know what that’s like. You know the pain of counting on someone who let you down. You trusted your heart with someone, and they gave it back to you in little pieces. This is a different kind of hurt, because it comes from someone you trust.

아마 당신은 그것이 무엇과 같은지 알 것이다. 당신은 어떤 사람을 기대했는데 그가 당신을 낙심시키는 함의 고통을 안다. 당신은 누군가와 함께 하는 당신의 마음을 신뢰했다. 그리고 그들은 작은 조각들로 당신에게 되돌려 주었다. 이것은 다른 종류의 상처이다. 왜냐하면 그것이 당신이 신뢰하는 어떤 사람으로부터 오기 때문이다.

 With Paul, I get the sense that he wasn’t especially close to Alexander the coppersmith. But the people who didn’t show up at his trial were friends he was close to and cared about. And the more intimate the relationship, the more devastating the hurt can be.

바울과 함께 나는 그가 특별히 구리장색 알렉산더와 가까운 사이가 아니었다는 감각이 있다. 그러나 그의 재판에 얼굴을 보이지 않은 사람들은 그가 친근했고 걱정해준 친구들이었다. 관계가 친근할수록 그 상처는 더욱 더 파괴적일 수 있다. 

 I mentioned that as I prepared for this book I asked Facebook friends to share with me their stories of forgiving someone who hurt them. There were dozens and dozens of stories from people who were betrayed by someone they trusted, but there was one story that was different. It wasn’t from the person who was betrayed, it was from the person who did the betraying. Here’s her story:

내가 이 책을 위해서 준비할 때 나는 페이스북 친구들에게 그들에게 상처를 준 사람을 용서하는 그들의 이야기들을 나와 함께 공유하기를 요청했다고 언급했다. 그들이 신뢰했던 어떤 사람에게 배신당한 사람들로부터 온 수 백개의 이야기들이 있었다. 그러나 다른 이야기 하나가 있었다. 그것은 배신당한 사람으로부터 온 것이 아니었다. 그것은 배신을 한사람으로부터 온 것이었다. 여기 그녀의 이야기가 있다.

 I grew up in the church. I knew what was expected of me as a moral person and as a follower of Christ. I met Bill at the  park and our relationship quickly went from friendship to so much more. Our selfish desires were more detrimental due    to him being married. We made attempts to be honorable and end it but selfishness prevailed. Then our secret became    tangible. I was pregnant . . . a pregnancy test in my hand convicted me of my sin. I did love him, but I offered to        leave the area and not disrupt his life further. I felt more culpable in our situation because I had knowingly              disregarded God’s voice. He made his decision to reveal the betrayal and ask for a divorce. They had been together for    eight years with no children.

나는 교회 안에서 성장했어요. 나는 도덕적인 사람, 그리스도의 추종자로서 내게 거는 기대들이 있다는 것을 알았습니다. 나는 공원에서 빌을 만났고 우리의 관계는 급속히 친교에서 훨씬 더 한 것으로 진전했습니다. 우리의 이기적인 욕망들은 그가 결혼한 상태이므로 더 해로운 것이었습니다. 우리는 명예롭기를 시도했고 관계를 끝내기를 시도했으나 이기심이 이겼습니다. 그때 우리의 비밀이 감지되었어요. 나는 임신했습니다. . . 내 손 안의 임신검사지는 내게 내 죄를 정죄했습니다. 나는 그를 사랑했으나 그 지역을 떠나 더 이상 그의 삶을 방해하지 않을 것을 제안했습니다. 나는 우리의 상황 안에서 더 비난받을 만하다고 느꼈습니다. 왜냐하면 내가 하나님의 음성을 알면서 무시했기 때문이지요. 그는 그 배신을 공개하고 이혼을 요구하는 결심을 했습니다. 그들은 자녀가 없이 8년간 함께 지내왔어요.
         

 It turns out Bill’s wife was named Lisa. Can you imagine how devastated Lisa must have been to find out her husband was cheating on her? Not only that, but this other woman would be having his baby – and on top of all that her husband wanted a divorce. Can you imagine? Sadly, some of you don’t have to.

빌의 아내 이름은 리사(Lisa)인 것이 드러난다. 리사가 자기 남편이 자기를 속여왔다는 것을 발견하고 얼마나 충격을 받았을지를 상상할 수 있는가? 그것만이 아니라 이 다른 여성은 그 남자의 아기를 가질 것이다.    그리고 그 모든 것 꼭대기에서 그녀의 남편은 이혼을 원했다. 당신은 상상할 수 있는가? 슬프게도 당신들 중 어떤 이는 상상할 필요가 없다. 

 Paul is writing about feeling betrayed. He loved and sacrificed for these people and they all deserted him. How does he feel about them now? He writes, “May it not be held against them” (v.16). In fact, he doesn’t just release his right to take revenge, he says a prayer for them, hoping that their sin won’t be held against them. It’s the same prayer we saw with Stephen in Acts 7, and with Jesus on the cross. It’s what Jesus taught all of us to do in Luke 6:27-28: “Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, bless those who curse you, pray for those who mistreat you.”

바울은 배신당하는 느낌에 대해 쓰고 있다. 그는 사랑했고 이 사람들을 위해 희생했는데 그들은 모두 그를 배신했다. 지금 그는 그들에 대해 어떻게 느끼는가? 그는 기록한다. “그것이 (그것 때문에) 그들이 불리하게 되지 않기를 기원한다” (16절) 사실, 그는 복수할 그의 권리를 그저 내어놓는 것만은 아니고 그들을 위해 기도한다. 그리고 그들의 죄가 그들을 그들에게 나쁘게 작용하지 않기를 소망한다. 그것은 우리가 사도행전 7장에서 스테판과 일치한 기도이다. (the same prayer we saw with Stephen in Acts 7) 그리고 그 기도는 십자가 상의 예수님과 일치한 기도이다. 그것은 눅 6:27-28에서 우리 모두가 하라고 예수께서 가르치신 것이다. “너희 원수들을 사랑하고, 너희를 미워하는 자들에게 선을 행하고, 너희를 저주하는 자들을 축복하고, 너를 학대하는 자들을 위하여 기도하라.”

 Maybe you read that, and attach the name and face of the person who mistreated you, and it sounds impossible. “Wait, you mean I’m supposed to pray for the person who hurt me?” Yes. In fact, I’d say this will do more to get you down the path of forgiveness and grace than anything else.

아마 당신은 그 말씀을 읽고 당신을 학대한 그 사람의 이름과 얼굴을 거기에 붙들어 맬지 모른다. 그 말씀은 불가능하게 들린다. “잠간, 당신은 내가 나에게 상처를 준 그 사람을 위하여 기도해야 한다고 말하는 겁니까?” 그렇다. 사실, 나는 이것이 당신으로 하여금 다른 무엇보다도 용서와 은혜의 길을 출발하는데 더 많은 것을 할 것이라고 말하고 싶다.

 In 1960, Ruby Bridges became the first African American to attend an all-white school. She was six years old. She was selected as one of four first-graders to integrate two elementary schools. Unfortunately, she was sent to integrate one – William Frantz Public School in Louisiana – all by herself. On her first day several hundred protestors gathered outside. She saw one carrying a black doll in a coffin. She was spit on and cursed at, and her life was threatened. She saw a doctor, Dr. Robert Coles, to help her deal with some of the pain of what she was going through. He couldn’t understand how she coped so well with everything going one. He couldn’t understand why she didn’t seem to be angry or bitter or depressed.

1960년에 루비 브리지스는 (Rubt Bridges) 백인만의 학교에 출석하는 최초의 아프리카계 미국인이 되었다. 그녀는 여섯 살이었다. 그녀는 두 개의 초등학교에서 흑백을 통합하는 네 명의 1학년 아동들 중의 한 사람으로 선발되었다. 불행하게도 그녀는 루이지애나에 있는 윌리암 프란츠 공립학교에 흑백을 통합하기 위해 혼자 보내졌다. 그 아이의 등교 첫 날에 수 백명의 항의자들이 밖에 모여들었다. 그 아이는 한 사람이 관 속의 검은색의 인형을 운반하고 있는 것을 보았다. 그 아이는 침뱉음을 당하고 저주를 받았다. 그리고 그녀의 생명이 위협을 당했다. 그녀는 한 의사, 로버트 코울즈 박사가 그녀를 도와서 그녀가 겪고 있는 고통의 어떤 것을 처리하게 해주는 것을 보았다. 그 소녀아이는 진행되고 있는 모든 것을 어떻게 잘 대처할지를 이해할 수 없었다. 그 아이는 왜 자기가 화가 나거나 비통하거나 우울해지지 않은 듯 보이지 않았는지 이해할 수 없었다.
 

One morning Ruby’s teacher watched Ruby stop in front of the angry mob that was cursing at her, and she saw Ruby’s lips moving. She told Dr. Coles about it. Later, when he met with Ruby again, he asked what she was saying to the crowd. Ruby said, “I wasn’t talking to them. I was praying for them.” Ruby later wrote in her memoir, Through My Eyes, “My mother and our pastor always said, ‘You have to pray for enemies and people who do you wrong,’ and that’s what I did.” Dr. Coles points out that Ruby’s parents could not read or write but they taught her to do what Jesus said to do. Jesus said to pray for your enemies, so that’s what she did. That’s what allowed her to get rid of all bitterness, rage, and anger.

어느 날 아침 루비의 교사가 루비가 성난 폭도들 앞에서 멈춰선 것을 목격했는데 그들은 그 아이에게 저주를 퍼붓고 있었고 루비의 입술이 움직이는 것을 보았다. 그 교사는 그것에 대해 코울즈 박사에게 말했다. 나중에 코울즈 박사가 루비를 다시 만났을 때 그 아이에게 물었다. 그 무리들을 향해 무엇을 말하고 있었는지를. 루비가 대답했다. “저는 그들에게 말하고 있지 않았어요. 저는 그들을 위해 기도하고 있었어요.” 루비는 나중에 그녀의 비망록, “내 두 눈을 통해서” (Through My Eyes)에서 이렇게 기록했다. “내 엄마와 우리 교회 목사님은 항상 말씀하셨다. ‘너는 원수들과 너에게 잘못을 저지르는 사람들을 위해서 기도해야 한다.’ 그리고 그것이 내가 한 것이다.” 코울즈 박사는 루비의 부모들이 읽거나 글을 쓸 수 없었으나 그들의 딸에게 예수께서 하라고 말씀하신 것을 하게 가르쳤다고 지적한다. 예수께서 우리 원수들을 위해서 기도하라고 말씀하셨다. 그 아이가 한 것은 그것이었다. 그것이 그 아이로 하여금 모든 비통과 격분과 성냄을 제거하게 허락한 것이다.

 We need to do what Jesus said to do. If we’re going to forgive and let grace flow, we need to pray for our enemies. You may be at a place where you won’t even consider doing what Jesus said to do, but I’d encourage you to remember it’s also what Jesus did for you. He prayed for the people who put him on the cross.

우리는 예수께서 하라고 말씀하신 것을 할 필요가 있다. 만일 우리가 용서할 예정이고 은혜가 흐르게 하려고 한다면 우리는 우리 원수들을 위해서 기도할 필요가 있다. 당신은 예수께서 하라고 말씀하신 것을 하기를 생각조차도 않으려는 입장에 있을지 모른다. 그러나 나는 그것이 또한 예수께서 당신을 위해 하신 것이라는 것을 기억하게 격려하고 싶다. 그분은 자기를 십자가에 못박은 자들을 위해서 기도하셨다.

                            그분을 의지하라
                             Lean on Him

 Paul briefly shares with Timothy how he was wronged but also how God gave him the strength he needed.

바울은 자기가 얼마나 잘못을 저질렀는지를 디모데와 간략히 나누지만 또한 하나님께서 어떻게 자기가 필요한 힘을 주셨는지도 나누었다.

But the Lord stood with me and gave me strength so that I might preach the Good News in its entirety for all the          Gentiles to hear. And he rescued me  from certain death.
Yes, and the Lord will deliver me from every evil attack and  will bring me safely into his heavenly Kingdom. All glory to    God forever and ever! Amen. (2 Tim. 4:17-18 NLT)  

그러나 주님께서 나와 함께 서시고 내게 힘을 주셔서 내가 온 이방인들이 듣게 복음을 전파하게 하셨다. 그리고 그분이 나를 확실한 죽음에서 구출하셨다. 그렇고 말고. 그리고 주님은 나를 모든 악한 공격     에서 건지실 것이고 날글 그분의 하나님 나라 속으로 안전하게 데려오실 것이다.  모든 영광을 영원무궁히 하나님께 돌린다! 아멘. (딤후 4:17-18)

 How do you forgive? You choose to release it, you pray for your enemy, and, I think probably most importantly, you recognize that God is standing with you – and he will have the final word.

당신은 어떻게 용서하는가? 당신은 그것을 방출하기를 선택하라. 당신은 당신의 원수를 위해 기도하라. 그리고 내 생각에 아마도 가장 중요한 것은 하나님께서 당신과 일치하신다는 것을 인식하라. 그러면 그분은 최종적인 결정을 내리실 것이다.

 Paul concedes that the people he was counting on let him down, and he says, “The Lord stood with me and gave me strength”(v.17). Some of you understand what Paul is expressing. There was a time in your life when people you cared about seemed absent, but it was then that God seemed most present. When you felt the most betrayed and abandoned, you discovered God was right there standing with you and you were able to lean on him.

바울은 계속 말한다. 그가 기대하고 있는 사람들이 그를 낙심시킨다고. 그는 말한다. “주님이 나와 함께 서시고 내게 힘을 주셨다” (17절). 여러분 중 몇 사람은 바울이 표현하고 있는 것을 이해한다. 당신 삶에서 이런 한 때가 있었다. 당신이 관심을 가진 사람들이 그 자리에 없는 듯 보이는 때가. 그러나 그때는 하나님께서 최고로 그 자리에 계신는 듯 보이는 때였다. 당신이 가장 배반을 당하고 버림을 받았다고 느끼는 때에 당신은 하나님께서 바로 거기에서 당신 곁에 서 계셨고 당신은 그분을 의지할 수 있었던 것을 발견했다.

 Paul looks back now on the hurt that was done to him and he is able to see that God was not only with him but that God used him to preach the Good News. God brings about good from the bad that was done to Paul. It makes it easier to forgive someone when you can have confidence that what they meant for evil God can work for good.

바울은 자기에게 행해진 상처를 지금 뒤돌아보고 하나님께서 그와 함께 계실 뿐만 아니라 하나님께서 그를 사용하셔서 복음을 전파하게 하신 것을 알 수 있다. 하나님은 바울에게 행해진 나뿐 것들로부터 좋은 것을 초래하신다.  그 사람들이 악을 의도한 것을 하나님은 선을 위해 일하실 수 있다는 것을 당신이 확신할 수 있을 때 어떤 사람을 용서하는 것이 훨씬 더 쉽게 된다.

 Which reminds me . . . I was telling you about Lisa, the wife whose husband told her he was cheating, and the other woman was pregnant, and he wanted a divorce. I asked if you could imagine how devastated she must have been. Here’s another question: How does a person respond to something like that? Here’s how Lisa responded (remember, this came from “the other woman”):

아 참, 내가 리사에 대하여 당신에게 말하고 있었군요. 리사는 그 남편이 그녀에게 자기가 그녀를 속이고 있었다고 말한 그 아내되는 사람이고, 또 다른 여자는 임신했고 그 남자는 이혼을 원하고 있었다는 말을 하고 있었군요. 나는 물었지요. 당신은 그녀가 얼마나 마음이 피폐하게 지냈을가를 상상할 수 있느냐고. 여기 다른 질문이 있다.  사람은 그와 같은 것에 어떻게 반응하는가? 여기에 리사가 반응한 방식이 있다. (기억하시라. 이것은 “그 다른 여자에게서 온 것이다).

   

 When Bill told Lisa of our relationship, the pregnancy, and essentially the end of her life as she knew it, she was          undoubtedly devastated. Do you know what she did after she watched her life come crumbling down around her? She      called me to say that she didn’t hate me . . . and that while    she would surely go through some tough times in the near    future . . . after all was said and done . . . her prayer was that somehow we could all still be family. She later asked me if she could be Aunt Lisa to the baby.

빌이 그녀가 알았듯이 우리 관계, 임신, 필연적으로 그녀의 삶의 끝을 리사에게 말했을 때 그녀는 (리사) 의심할 것도 없이 망연자실해졌다. 그녀가 자기 주변에서 그녀의 인생이 무너져 내리는 것을 본 후에 그녀가 한 것을 당신은 아는가? 그녀는 내게 나를 미워하지 않는다고 전화를 걸어 말했다. . . 그리고 그녀가 가까운 미래에 어떤 힘든 시간들을 분명히 통과하는 동안에 . . . 모든 것을 다 말하고 행     해진 다음에 . . . 그녀의 기도는 아무튼 우리는 여전히 가족일 수 있다는 것이었다. 그녀는 나중에 내게 물었다. 그녀가 그 아기에게 리사 이모가 (Aunt Lisa) 될 수 있겠느냐고.

   

 I couldn’t comprehend it. All these years later, I still can’t. How? Who has such strength?  Who has such grace?

While we certainly deserved the wrath of a woman who never deserved such treatment, after our son was born there was a friendship and true love that flowed with reserve.

나는 그것을 이해할 수 없었다. 이 모든 해들을 보낸 후에 나는 여전히 이해할 수 없다. 어떻게? 누가 이런 힘을 가지고 있나? 누가 이런 은혜를 가지고 있나? 이런 대우를 받을 만한 사람이 결코 아닌 한 여인의 분노를 받는 게 확실하게 마땅한 우리인데, 우리 아들이 태어난 후에 조건부로 친교와 참된 사랑이 있었다.

Bill didn’t know Jesus. He still doesn’t. But Lisa and I began to pray together for him. We prayed that he would come to  see the love and grace of Jesus through everything that happened.

빌은 예수님을 몰랐다. 그는 여전히 모른다. 그러나 리사와 나는 남편을 위해 함께 기도하기를 시작했다. 우리는 남편이 일어난 모든 것을 통해서 예수님의 사랑과 은혜를 보게 되기를 기도했다.

 Her grace humbles me daily. There are no words for her forgiveness. I guess the only word is Jesus. Her strength, her  mercy, her grace are only a mere inkling of what Jesus offers.

그녀의 은혜가 나를 날마다 겸손하게 한다. 그녀의 용서를 위한 말들이 없다. 나는 단 한 가지 말이 예수님이라고 추측한다. 그녀의 힘, 그녀의 자비, 그녀의 은혜는 다만 예수님이 제공하는 것의 단순한 암시일 뿐이다.

This woman, who betrayed Lisa, is right. No one has that kind of strength, that kind of grace. That didn’t come from Lisa. That came from Jesus to Lisa and Lisa just let it flow.

리사를 배반한 이 여인의 말이 옳다. 아무도 그런 종류의 힘을, 그런 종류의 은혜를 가질 수 없다. 그것은 리사로부터 나오지 않았다. 그것은 예수님으로부터 리사에게 왔다. 그리고 리사는 그것을 흐르게 했을 뿐이다.

                          사랑하는 아버지
                          A Loving Father

God is a loving father you can lean on when you have no one else. No matter what you go through, you don’t have to go through it alone.

하나님은 당신이 기댈 사람이 아무도 없을 때 당신이 기댈 수 있는 사랑하는 아버지이시다. 당신이 무엇을 통과하든지 당신은 그것만을 통과해야만 할 필요가 없다.

OK, before I end this chapter, I have to tell you the end of the story of my dad coming to my defense and emailing the guy who had sent me the hateful email. A few hours after he forwarded me his email to this guy, my dad sent me another email. He felt bad for speaking on my behalf without my permission and wanted to apologize if he had overstepped as a father to an adult son.

오케이, 내가 이 장을 마치기 전에 자는 나를 변호하기 위해 오시고 내게 증오에 찬 이메일을 보낸 그 사람에게 이메일을 보내신 내 아버지의 이야기의 끝을 당신에게 말해야만 한다. 아버지가 그에게 보내는 이메일을 내게 내미신 뒤 두 어시간에 내 아버지는 다른 이메일을 내게 보내셨다. 그분은 내 허락없이 나를 대신하여 말한 것을 인해 나쁘게 느끼셨고 성인된 아들의 아버지로서 월권했다면 사과하기를 원하셨다.

Here’s what he wrote:

아버지의 글이 이렇다.

Dear Kyle,
I wanted to apologize to the man who sent you that email. I know that’s not what you were wanting when you shared    that with me. I am sure the reason I felt compelled to respond was because I felt the sting that he intended for  you.

On the rare occasion a criticism like this has been directed at me, I do much better at responding with patience and a sense of humor, but when it comes at my son, I can’t  help but rush to the battle line. I love who you are, son.

Don’t change. Keep growing. I won’t respond any further and I would  encourage you to let this go as well.

Love, Dad.

사랑하는 카일,
나는 너에게 그 메일을 보낸 사람에게 사과하기를 원한다. 나는 네가  그 사건을 내게 나누었을 때 네가 원하고 있는 것이 그게 아니라는 것을 안다. 내가 응답을 하지 않을 수 없게 느낀 그 이유는 내가 느끼기에 그가 너에게 의도한 것에 내가 찌르는 듯한 고통을 느꼈기 때문이라고 확신한다. 드문 경우에 이같은 비판이 나에게 향하고 있었던 적이 있단다.  나는 인내와 유모 감각을 가지고 아주 더 잘 응답할 수 있다.  그러나 그 비판이 내 아들을 향한 것일 때 나는 그 전선에 돌진하지 않을 수 없었다. 아들아, 나는 너의 모습 그대로를 사랑한다. (I love who you are, son.). 변하지 말아라. 계속 성장해라. 나는 더 이상 반응하지 않겠고 나는 너를 격려하여 이것 또한 진행하게 하련다.
너를 사랑하는 아빠가.

 My dad is for me. He’s in my corner. If someone comes at me and my dad finds out about it, whether I like it or not, whether I’m embarrassed by it or not, they’re going to have to deal with him as well. There is never any question whose side he’s going to land on. He is always for me. He is always on my side.

내 아버지는 나를 위하신다. 그분은 나의 한쪽에 계시다. 만일 누군가가 내게 접근한다면 내 아버지는 내가 그것을 좋아하는지, 안 하는지, 내가 그것에 의해 당황하는지 아닌지, 알게 될 것이다. 또 그것들이 또한 그분을 대우해야 할 예정인지를 알게 되실 것이다. 그분이 누구의 편에 상륙할 예정인지를 묻는 질문이 결코 없다. 그분은 항상 나를 위해서 계시다. 그는 항상 내 편이시다.

 I don’t know if you have an earthly father like that, but I know you have a heavenly Father. Let him deal with your hurts. Release the person over to God and trust God to deal with the person. Lean on him. He’s got your back.

나는 당신이 그분과 같은 땅의 아버지를 가지고 있는지 모른다. 그러나 나는 당신이 하나님 아버지를 모시고 있다는 것을 안다. 그분이 당신의 상처를 다루시게 하라. 상처를 준 그 사람을 하나님께 넘겨드리고 하나님께서 그 사람을 다루실 것을 신뢰하라. 그분을 의지하라. 그분이 당시니을 돌봐주고 계시다.